


Forget-Me-Not

by saeran_choi



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Love Confessions, Mental Health Issues, References to Depression, Self-Hatred, Takes place during day 6, This fic is happier than you think lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-04 18:21:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16351754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saeran_choi/pseuds/saeran_choi
Summary: She's more beautiful and elegant than any flower he's ever seen; he's thought that since the moment he laid eyes on her, long before they even met.In other words, she's absolutely breathtaking in every way and is everything he's ever dreamed of.





	Forget-Me-Not

**Author's Note:**

> I actually started writing this as soon as I first finished ray's route alllll the way back in february and have worked on it bit by bit every time my love for him resurfaced
> 
> This fic is basically just a "what if" scenario in which mc stops ray from running away after she kisses him and is 100% self-indulgent whoops
> 
> Critiques are welcome! Don't be too mean though I am a sensitive soul

MC is kind. She's radiant, positive, always sees the goodness in everything, _everyone_. She's strong, caring, and always knows exactly what to say no matter the situation. She's more beautiful and elegant than any flower he's ever seen; he's thought that since the moment he laid eyes on her, long before they even met.

In other words, she's absolutely breathtaking in every way and is everything he's ever dreamed of.

So when she kisses him softly in the moonlit garden, he doesn't understand. He never could. Why would she care for someone as useless and stupid as him? He's worth no more than the dirt on the ground - no, _less than that_ \- his past has proven that enough. It's only a matter of time before she throws him away, just like everyone else in his life had done. With her charm, she could easily find someone else that's actually deserving of her love, and he'll be damned if there was any man who didn't fall for her the same way he has.

Yet… he can't help but long for her touch, the feeling of their hands fitting together perfectly, their fingers intertwining. He wants to hold her close, run his hands through her long, soft hair, and tell her how much he cares for her, that he wants to protect her… but he knows he'll never be strong or good enough for her, and he curses himself for being born the way he was; small, frail, weak. He can only dream of being the man he knows MC deserves.

But the lingering feeling of her lips against his makes him doubt those negative thoughts about himself, if only for a moment.

“I-I… uh,” he doesn't know what to say, what to do, what to _think_. Should he feel happy? Is he _allowed_ to be this happy? What if she takes it back after seeing how pathetic he is?

Feeling confused and dumbfounded, he makes his move to flee the situation, but she realizes too soon, and he barely takes a step before he feels a hand softly grasp his wrist.

“Please, Ray… don't go?” And oh no. Her voice is so small and pleading. He's used to denying himself things but who would he be to deny a request like that from his most precious person?

“I... “ He feels lost once again, but nonetheless, he wipes his tears and regains his composure as best as he can. “Okay.” He forces himself to say before he can change his mind.

And God, if the warm smile she gives him doesn't make his heart skip a beat or two. Her hand is still secured around his thin wrist, but he doesn't dare pull away.

“Follow me?” She asks. Her voice is much different from his Savior’s, despite the both of them being quite soft spoken. It doesn't feel like an order, not like what he's used to, and for once, he obliges out of his own free will rather than out of the need to obey. He doesn't say anything, only nods and follows where the pull of her hand leads them.

They end up crouched down on their knees in a small secluded area of the garden, just barely out of view of the surveillance crew. They’re surrounded by a beautiful array of different colors of roses that look even more beautiful under the pale moonlight. _Not as beautiful as MC,_ he thinks, but doesn’t say aloud.

At last, after taking another quick gander around them to make sure no one is watching them, she lets go of his wrist, and he's left with an empty feeling of needing to be touched again until she faces him and takes both of his hands into her own.

She looks up at him, and he gazes back into those beautiful amber eyes of hers. He’s never been good at maintaining eye contact, but for some reason, he can’t bring himself to look away. “That was okay, right, Ray? That I… that we kissed?” She asks, her hands tightening around his.

 _Oh._ That wasn’t what he had expected. He expected her to take it back, to tell him she had regretted her choice and that they should never do it again.

“I want to tell you can do that again whenever you want to… but what if I'm getting too ahead of myself? What if you start to hate me?” He can feel the tears prick his eyes again. He tries his best to hold them back, not wanting MC to witness him crying again; he must look so ugly like that to her. Showing emotions has never done him any good; that's what his Savior's always told him.

“I could never hate you. I wish you wouldn't say things like that about yourself. You mean a lot to me, Ray. I don't want to see you hurting like this.” Ray desperately tries to find any hint of hesitation in her voice, anything that might suggest that her words are false, but he's confused once again at just how _sincere_ it all sounds.

“I-if that's what you want, then… I'll try.”

“But you shouldn't want that only for me. You should be thinking of yourself as well.” And there it is again; MC always knowing exactly what to say and making him feel like maybe he really is worth something, that maybe he isn't as useless as he thinks.

“Nobody's ever told me that before… I'm not sure what to do.”

“That's okay. It's okay to take your time to understand these things.” The tender softness in her voice does well to calm his nerves, and he feels another harsh tug at his heartstrings. _Am I allowed to be this happy?_ , he thinks to himself once again.

Before he can think, he's already lurching forward to pull MC into a hug as best he can in their current position. For a moment he thinks maybe he should've thought before he acted, but she hugs him back, and he's never felt so warm in his life.

“Thank you… thank you, MC… really. For caring about such a useless airhead like me… I want to make you happy. I care about you… so much.” He takes a deep breath. “I-I really like you.”

“I like you too, Ray. I wish we could spend more time together like this.” She doesn’t move away from him, only hugs him tighter. “Are you alright? You’re trembling like crazy.”

 _Oh._ He thought he had his emotions under control, but before he even knew it, he had started crying into her shoulder. Quickly, he pulls away from her and wipes his eyes with the palms of his gloved hands.

_Ugh. Pathetic. Useless._

“Sorry, ugh, I, just, um, I'm-” Calm down. _Just take deep breaths,_ his savior would often tell him when he couldn't calm himself. “I’m not used to things like this. Being treated so nicely, I mean. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have hugged you like that without asking… I’m such an idiot.”

Her radiant smile falls, in exchange for a pitiful expression, and he hates himself for being the one to put it on her face.

_Idiot. Idiot. Idiot._

“Please don’t say that, you’re very precious to me, Ray.” _I’ll stop you from saying those things,_ she had said earlier, just before kissing him. Oh, how he longs for that feeling again. He would do anything to experience that, even just one more time.

Tentatively, she moves his hands away from where he's still wiping at his sore eyes and takes them into her own once more. She doesn't tighten her hands around his, just keeps them still. She looks deep in thought, and Ray waits patiently to see what she's going to say, anxiety beginning to bubble up within him.

MC takes a deep breath, and Ray finds himself doing so as well, and he feels a bit more calm.

“I may not be able to fully understand exactly what you're going through, but ever since I was young, I suffered, too… I was depressed often, most of the time not even knowing why. My father, he… couldn't understand - refused to understand - he yelled at me often for it, but it only confused me more. I didn't know why I felt so different from other kids, and I hated myself for it. My mother, on the other hand, sympathized with me. She always told me that no matter how much I was suffering that things will get better, even if it takes a long time to heal. Some pain may never go away completely, and that's okay. But one thing I'll never forget, is that she made me realize that it is so, _so_ much more painful to deal with it alone, that you don't _have_ to deal with it alone. So, Ray, if you'll let me, I'm willing to stay by your side. You don't need to hide anymore. I refuse to just be another person that gives up on you.”

Ray sat in silence, simply staring back. He was, to say the least, at an utter lack of words.

She speaks up again, sensing some of his uneasiness. “You don't need to respond if you don't feel comfortable. I just want you to know I'm here for you. I'm not going to leave.”

An indescribable feeling swells up inside of him, but it's not bad, he thinks. No, it's definitely not bad at all, he just doesn't know how to deal with his suddenly overwhelming emotions. His brain can't seem to find any words; all he can think about is how badly he wants to kiss her again.

And almost as if she had read his mind, she asks, “I want you to realize how precious you are, Ray… so won't you let me kiss you again?” And the giddy feeling in his stomach rises up again. Butterflies, he thinks people call it.

“I-I'm not confident I'll be good at it. I mean, nobody's ever kissed me like that before… I-I mean before you- I want it to be good for you.”

“That's fine. I can step you through it.” And there's that warm smile again, making his chest ache with affection.

“Oh, o-okay…” Suddenly he’s self-conscious of the obvious tremble in his voice.

“You don’t need to be so nervous. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to.” She lets go of his hands and scoots closer, cupping his face instead. Despite the chilly temperature of the night, her hands are surprisingly warm, and he never wants her to let go. “I can lead, if you’d like.”

“...Yeah. I’d like that.”

“Alright. Now tilt your head this way a little bit, and… just relax, okay?” He nods in response, not trusting his brain to properly process his thoughts into words right now.

And suddenly she’s shifting, leaning in to press their lips together once more. It’s still a strange, foreign feeling, but it's soft, _it’s so soft_ and when he closes his eyes he can almost imagine that him and MC are the only two humans left in the world. No Mint Eye, no V, no Saeyoung, nothing weighing him down or holding him back from being truly happy. No, just the two of them, like this forever. And he wishes for nothing more.

Ray doesn’t know how long he sits there lost in his thoughts until she pulls away, but he knows it’s over much too soon.

“Was that good, Ray…?” She asks, her voice softer than before, almost like she's whispering a secret.

“...Yes. S-so good. It was so good…” 

“Are you okay with doing it again?” He nods before he can even think, and suddenly her lips are on his again. For a moment, she doesn’t do anything except stay still, as if in invitation for him to try taking the lead if he'd like. But he doesn't, still unsure of what to do, so she begins move her lips languidly against his, so gently, almost as if she's afraid of breaking him somehow. But he doesn't _want_ to be seen as fragile as her. If he remains as sensitive and fragile as he is, he'll never be able to protect her; he knows that.

Feeling a small burst of confidence, he places one hand on her shoulder and the other on the back of her neck (gently, of course), and pulls her in to kiss her deeper. They're still sitting on the ground, both on their knees, but the position is a bit awkward for them to kiss better, so she breaks apart (and he can tell she's just as out of breath as he is) climbs on his lap to get a better angle. They give a quick exchange of an 'Is that ok?’ and a 'Mhm.’ before continuing, closing the distance between them once more. It's a bit rough, but not unwelcome. As she kisses him deeper, his earlier shame fades and he focuses on making her feel as good as he does, running his hands up and down her back (he almost wishes he had picked out the backless dress for her instead) as she runs her hands through his hair, bringing them closer. Despite having never done this before, Ray feels like he's operating on autopilot, only moving to bring them the most pleasure. A warm heat he's never felt before runs through the entirety of his body when her tongue invades the inside of his mouth. It's sloppy, it's gross, it _should_ be gross, but it feels so _good._

Even in the midst of their actions, Ray silently wonders what other people she's kissed like this, and he can't help but ache with jealousy at the thought of not being that her first.

However, his thoughts halt immediately when she releases a small whine, and he's worried he did something wrong ( _God forbid he hurt her_ ), and he jolts back in surprise, his pleasure suddenly overtaken by fear.

“Are you okay?” He asks, frantic, looking her in the eyes. He notices the deep flush in her face and is suddenly conscious of how hot his own face feels.

She looks confused for a moment. “Huh? Y-yeah, why?”

“You… you made a weird noise. Did I make you uncomfortable? Did I hurt you?” He almost doesn't want to hear the answer to the latter question.

He expected her expression to turn angry, but instead it softens. Her lips turn upwards, and she lets out a giggle. Even in his moment of distress, he can't stop thinking about how everything she does is just so damn _cute._

“Ah, sorry for laughing. That noise meant it felt _good,_ silly.”

“ _Oh_.” So that was it. Feeling dumbfounded, he wants to hide his head in shame.

She giggles again, eventually sighing deeply. “Is it okay if I keep going? It feels really good to kiss you.”

 _Oh, right._ He almost forgot about what they were doing mere moments ago.

“Um… I feel the same way, but,” he pauses, looking for a reaction, but her expression doesn't change. “I think, uh- if we continue this, I’m afraid I might get too… excited.”

“That's fine,” she moves from where she's straddled him and sits across his lap instead, resting her head in the crook of his neck. They fit together much more perfectly like this, he thinks. “Like I said, I wouldn't want to do anything if you didn't want to. The last thing you deserve is to be uncomfortable, Ray.” 

“Th-thank you…”

“No need to thank me. It's only the truth. I-” and then she interrupts herself with a sneeze followed a shiver. He panics.

“Ah!! I didn't even think about how cold you must be out here. I'm so sorry- I-” He decides to stop babbling for once and be useful, so he removes his jacket and wrap it around her petite figure.

“Thank you, Ray, but don't worry about it too much, you warmed me up plenty earlier…” she says a bit shyly, looking to the side. He flushes in turn. He was too focused on how good it felt to kiss her so freely that he didn't realize how overheated he felt.

“Y-yeah.” _Smooth._

She grips the jacket around her shoulders and brings it to her nose, inhaling. It's such an innocent thing to do, but for some reason it feels so _intimate_ to him. “You have a nice smell, you know. Smells like flowers. It's calming.”

“I do spend a lot of time around flowers, I suppose it would rub off on me.”

“Yeah, but…” she pauses. “I don't know how to explain it, but it's unique. It's very… _you._ ”

He's not exactly sure what it means, but he still nods in response. There's still a million things he wants to say to her. Her hands look awfully lonely just resting in her lap, so he takes one of them in his own and she accepts it, lacing their fingers together. Closing his eyes, he simply basks in the moment as he gathers his thoughts.

“What you said earlier, about staying by my side… did you really mean it?” He squeezes her hand tighter.

“Of course, Ray. I like you a lot. You really do make me feel special.”

“You know…” he takes a deep breath. “I'm forever grateful that you joined me here at Mint Eye. I- no one else has made me feel this way before. Sometimes I get overwhelmed thinking about how much I like you, and I get scared thinking about how easily you could have just ignored my texts and calls, how easily you could leave whenever you want. But you didn't- you don't. You're staying here, for my sake, despite my worthlessne-” No. He promised her he wouldn't talk about himself like that anymore. “Y-you stayed. And for that I promise I'll make you happy- I'll make you the happiest girl in the world. I'll make you food and pick out bouquets for you and we can have picnics together and we can hold hands and take naps together and-”

She moves her face from his neck to look at him directly. “Ray. _Ray_. Please breathe,” and she laughs lightheartedly.

 _Oh,_ he hadn't even realized he was running out of breath. He lost control of his thoughts and said something dumb again, didn't he?

“S-sorry, I just get so excited when I think about all the things we can do together…I mean- I _would_ like to do those things if that's okay with you.”

She gives him that soft smile again that makes his heart race. She takes their intertwined hands and presses the back of his against her cheek. “I would love that. You deserve love, Ray, even if you think you don't. And if you'll accept me… I'd like to be the one to give you that love. When you cry, I want to be the one to wipe away your tears and let you know everything will be okay. When you have bad thoughts, I'll be the one to help them turn into happy ones. When you remember bad memories, we'll create twice as many good memories together to make up for it. We have the rest of our lives ahead of us, Ray, and I'd be glad to be able to spend it with you.”

He simply stares back, not believing the words he's hearing, despite everything that's already happened. Before he knows it, hot tears are falling down his face once more, but this time it's not out of sadness, but… something else? Happiness? Was it really possible for one to cry from being so happy?

He wipes at his already sore eyes. “S-sorry for crying so much, I-I just- feel so happy right now, I'm not sure how to deal with it.”

He was starting to think something might be wrong with him, but his anxiety is alleviated when he sees MC's own tears falling down her face, with the biggest, brightest smile he thinks he's ever seen. “That's okay. I feel the same way, you know.” And then she shuffles slightly to wrap her arms around his neck in another warm embrace. Feeling a bit brave, he fits his arms snug around her waist, and he can't help but feel that this is where he truly belongs. This is where he's meant to be, in her arms, feeling warmer and safer than he ever has in his entire life.

_Maybe this is what Paradise was meant to be, all along…_

“I’ll never leave you, Ray, and one day, we’ll make it out of this place together, just the two of us. I promise.”

And for once, it didn't feel like an empty promise.

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanna put a disclaimer here: I don't particularly agree with the "mental illness can be fixed with love" kind of mindset and that wasn't the type of message I was trying to convey with this fic! I'm literally just so in love with ray/saeran and I wanted to write a fic about him getting the love he deserves,
> 
> Also the thing with MC's parents may or may not have just been me secretly venting about my own life lol


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